Merica – Thank the Boston Boys

By John Ceccon

So, I see this guy, who appeared to be of the millennial age, pull into the parking lot of the base exchange at Naval Air Station North Island here in San Diego. He rolls up in his lifted Japanese truck sporting a licensed plate from Texas. Across his tailgate was a beautiful air-brushed American flag with the word “Merica” painted on the bottom of the flag. The stickers on his back window left no question as to his stance on God, guns, and Donald Trump – apparently, his holy trinity. It gets better too. Hanging from the trailer hitch was a plastic ball sack. You read that right, a ball sack – a scrotum. Right off the bat – WTF dude. Texas, MERICA, American flag, Japanese truck, ball sack? I just thought it was a strange way to let people know that he was a patriot……and probably armed. A patriot INDEED. It really aggravated me because I’m from Boston and we set the standard for patriotism. The Boston boys played a major role in inventing and bringing you MERICA.

The Boston Boys

• The Boston Tea Party. We were the guys who threw the tea in the water. If you are from the South End of Boston, you know that the Boston Tea Party was a club where the likes of Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin played. Boston boys loved that place. If you were a Boston Boy on December 16, 1773, you were probably at another party – YEAH, The actual Boston Tea Party (look it up Millenials). It was the Boston boys (The Sons of Liberty) who threw the tea in the water to protest British taxation without representation, among other things. It was one of the ways the boys told the Brits to go back to England and tell the queen we’re going to rename this place America. This was the first act of defiance against British rule over the colonists – the Boston boys. The beginning of the end for the Brits, and the eventual formation of America had their roots in this “party”.
  • I’ve always hated the queen’s hats. What do you think is in that purse she carries around?
• The Battle of Lexington & Concord. Again, if you are a millennial, look it up. Nobody expects you to understand how this country was formed. Sorry, I went off on a Millenial tangent. I’m sorry you guys got too many hugs as a kid and think you are extra special because your parents told you so – you’re not. A couple of years (April 19, 1775) after the tea party, the Boston boys once stepped up to hand an ass beating to the Brits all because they wanted to disarm the American colonists. Did you get that? The Brits wanted to take their guns, sound familiar? Think about THAT. Once again, the Boston boys stepped up and opened a can of American whoop-ass on the Brits. BTW, Massachuttes now has some of the strictest gun laws in the country. History DOES repeat itself. This was the first battle of the Revolutionary War
• Paul Revere. It doesn’t get much more Boston than this guy. From Boston’s North End, Paul was the guy that hung a lantern in the steeple of the Old North Church (a mile from my house) to let the Boston boys know that the Brits were approaching the shores in their warships. Then he rode on a borrowed horse to Lexington to warn John Hancock and Samuel Adams of the British approach. Revere Massachusetts is named after this Boston patriot. There are no cities in the United States named after Millenials.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that if you are from anywhere west of the original 13 colonies and you are grateful for America – The Boston boys say “you’re welcome”. Sure, some of you have made some improvements along the way, but the Boston boys gave it to you……and the queen’s hats still suck!

Also, if you want your very own plastic ball sack/scrotum that you can hang from YOUR truck, or hang on the wall if you like, or use them to replace the ones your wife took from you years ago – click here.

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